Five
of the Worst
Matches that Pirates fans would rather forget!
By
Dick Struaghan
This is just a bit
of pre-season fun as we gear ourselves up for the new campaign. I`ve decided to
get the worst performances out of the way first so that we can concentrate on
the better stuff in the next piece.
After consulting
with a number of Pirates fans I have come up with a list that is by no means definitive.
Every one of you will have their own personal memory of a Pirates horror show
but strangely the highlighted matches below all come from the professional era.
Honourable
mentions must be given to two games from last season - the last gasp victory at
Coventry (just how did the home side lose?) in a match that would have made pouring
soap into your eyes more stimulating, and the no score draw bore of a first half
against ultra negative Moseley who made wrestling with jelly look a more achievable
task.
Another noteworthy mention must go to the 37-5 spanking
at the hands of London Welsh on the Pirates first visit to Old Deer Park in March
2004. A lone Rocky Newton try the only solace for the travelling hordes that freezing
cold day.
Well, here goes starting at the bottom.
Number
Five
Coventry 30 Pirates 3 - ND1 - 15/01/05
An
abysmal effort on a day when former Pirate Dan Farini rampaged around the field
like an out of control steamroller. The Pirates set piece failed to function.
Lee Jarvis left his kicking boots at home. Coventry simply piled on the agony
with a succession of scores.
Number Four
Manchester
34 Pirates 14 - ND1 - 22/11/04
England had won the World Cup just hours
before in Sydney. The Pirates clearly forgot that they were supposed to try and
win too against the league's basement club. Tim Cowley played for the home side
that day. Coach Kevin Moseley described the performance as "pathetic".
Number
Three
Waterloo 19 Pirates 16 - ND1 - 09/09/06
A
lethargic and thoroughly uninspired first visit to Blundellsands for the Cornish
team with only a solitary Gavin Cattle try registered on the day. An otherwise
shaky Alberto Di Bernardo added the rest.
Number Two
Sedgley
Park 28 Pirates 27 - ND1 - 09/10/04
Yet another gloomy afternoon up
north for the Pirates. Just days after a titanic victory over Exeter and with
the match seemingly under control the Coach made wholesale changes at the break.
The result was chaos and confusion as the Pirates snatched defeat from the jaws
of victory. It proved to be Kevin Moseley's last game in charge.
AND THE WINNER
IS……….!
Number One
Plymouth
Albion 56 Pirates 0 - ND1 - 24/04/04
Having secured their Division One
survival two weeks before at Wakefield the Pirates went into cruise mode. A 10-42
mauling at home to Exeter was followed on a scorching hot afternoon at Brickfields
by this pitiful display as fifteen strangers, some allegedly with monstrous hangovers,
donned Pirates shirts for a stroll in the sun.
The end
product was a shambles and Albion could and should have won by a lot more in front
of a huge number of travelling Pirates fans.
Albion`s supporters
were sympathetic to their Cornish visitors which was much more than could be said
for the testosterone fuelled Devon & Cornwall Constabulary riot squad waiting
near the railway station for supporters of Queens Park Rangers FC to start sacking
Plymouth.
Their decision to close a pub as Marshy made
ready to step across the threshold was a low blow and more painful than any thrashing
at the hands of Albion could ever be. They even filmed his dismay for "evidential
purposes". Talk about kicking a man when he is down!
©Dick
Straughan 2008
See Also Five of the Best
