Press
Gang Invent PubNav!
By Dick Straughan March 31 2008
Ever
fancied a pint and not had the faintest idea where to get one? Well worry no more.
The Cornish Pirates Press Gang Supporters Club have just unveiled a new revolutionary
pub detection system following a weekend of intensive trials in Yorkshire.
PubNav
is a new eco-friendly system for slaking your thirst in an instant.
PubNav
works primarily without the usage of a remote power unit, satellite technology
or even a computer. Instead it relies totally on the mental capacity and direction
finding capabilities of its key component, a genetically advanced M.A.R.S.H.Y
(Mine`s A Rum and Soda and a pint of Heavy Yippee!) unit.
The pub finding
capabilities of the M.A.R.S.H.Y processor were first noticed when he was used
to pilot a Rickshaw around the West End of London after the Pirates victory at
Twickenham last April.
The M.A.R.S.H.Y is the equivalent of a modem allowing
individuals to not only locate any hostelry in the UK in an instant, but to also
tailor their requirements for the type of refreshment and entertainment required.
By simply explaining your needs to a M.A.R.S.H.Y you can be sure of finding a
pub within the day.
M.A.R.S.H.Y has this weekend been tested to the full
away from the Press Gang HQ at the world famous Admiral Benbow Inn, Penzance during
extensive trials in Yorkshire and Worcestershire.
M.A.R.S.H.Y
has been found to work away from the home environment exceptionally well as long
as he receives plentiful and prolonged cuddles from ladies.
Generally a
M.A.R.S.H.Y can be expected to operate in excess of 24 hours without sleep and
often without food. It is a highly portable device and delivers its instructions
in a soft Northern Irish brogue.
The unit is best left on a level surface
at the back of the coach with a gin and tonic whilst in standby mode. It has also
been programmed with the lyrics of over 6000 songs and endless jokes thus making
the M.A.R.S.H.Y and PubNav a must-have unit for all rugby supporters tours in
the 21st century.
PubNav and M.A.R.S.H.Y are currently not available for
purchase but can be viewed at the Admiral Benbow and on future Press Gang trips.
